:)

Hi.

Want to pick your tickets? Either to the myspace secret show with Good Charlotte tomorrow night OR to see Christina on Monday at the Verizon?

Today, when you hear me play P!NK after 6, call me and say, "I'll turn tricks for your tickets!"

You have to say that. Exactly that. Like first thing outta your mouth AFTER P!NK's "You and Your Hand" are done... 

 And since you're reading this, you're then only one who knows how to pick your tickets from me today!

Thanks for listening... and for reading!

-tk

Good afternoon from DC...

What a great weekend! I got to catch up with some old friends, make a few new ones... and I'll share more about our adventures coming up in a little bit...

All I'll say is it was awesome...

Today, I'm a little out-of-sorts... Something is missing.

Kyla.

She's back with her mom this week -- her bday is on Friday -- and I'll go get her on Sunday, but coming up in April, she'll be back with her mom for an extended time... We're planning a party for her and her friends in her school for when she gets back, and we're thinking of something for Miss Sharon, Mr. Jeff and Miss Laurie, and others too...

But today, it's, interesting... as will be the case this week because I'm using this time to mentally prepare for life without her for a while. So, why is it weird? Let me explain... and to look at it, you have to look back at it for a bit. 

Since August, like a well choreographed play, Kyla has been the constant by my side in life day to day. From good morning hugs to sleepin-time stories, and breakfast, lunch and dinner... from trips to Nana's house in Columbia, and to Raleigh to see Car-eee, through a move from there to DC... into a new house, into a new school, with Miss Laurie and Miss Sharon's help, every day I've spent has had a "Kyla" quotent. Now, she has been back to see her mom several times for a week here, or a week there... but you get where I'm coming from... and emotionally, it never gets easier. Especially when you've spent as much time together as we have. Especially when she is part of you.... As Laurie reminded me, she is a "little" you, only female ;)

Let me say this. I've said it before, and if you've read my other blog, you've heard this before. I have tremendous respect for single moms. I never in my life could have imagined how intense it is... like when your a single parent, and your kiddo is sick and can't go to school... and you're left wondering how you're gonna make work happen at the same time... Or when you have to be two places at once... or the perils of not being able to find a sitter... I get it.

Maybe I just miss the potty training, and the joy of hearing "get me M&M's! I went in the POTTY!!!!!!!!"

It's quiet. Too quiet. The little presence I've felt is missing. And while 'it' is in my heart, and connected to my soul, her physical presence is what I miss. But her time with her mom is very important... and I really believe in that. Kyla is who she is and is as happy and smart as she is -- because her mom and I -- along with Carly and the others around us -- have showered her with love and have kept her at the center of what we do...

But combine that with the fact that the other part of my heart -- and world -- is 4 hours to the south, and you can get a sense of my dilemma today.

Forgive the rambling pouting. It's a daddy thing. It's a bf thing. Someday, you might understand. Maybe you already do...

More later!

-tobias

Good morning!

There are some great pleasures which come in this life. Some are big ones... like wedding days, birthdays, career milestones and whatnot. Then there are the small ones. The simple ones which happen in a 'moment' which warm your heart and last a lifetime.

This mornings' moment I call 'blueberries and strawberries.'

It might have just as well been called 'breakfast with Kyla'.

See, these are her new favorite things for breakfast, or for snack, or after dinner when she decides at 8:45 she's hungry again. She's not, but she loves blueberries and strawberries. By the handful.

So, why the moment?

Well, last night, as she often does, Kyla didn't want to sleep in her bed, so she got herself up, gathered her babies, her blanket and a teddy Carly gave her which sings "Go to sleep little baby" when you crank it's 'bummy' and came into my room. One by one, she put her things on the bed, then, climed up the bed and got herself ready to sleep, closed her eyes, said her night night prayers and thanked the Baby Jesus for the things we've got in life and drifted off to sleep....

This morning, Kane's show started blaring at 5:45. I reached over, and smacked my HD radio, in a vain effort to get some more sleep... you know the kind that involves you laying there drifting in and out of pre-dawn consiousness. Kyla was laying there, too...

... then I heard her crank her bear which "makes me happy" she tells me... and then, her first words...

"Daddy it's good-mornin'time!"

"Yeah, it is," I grumbled. "I guess we need to get up because I have a meeting and we need to get you into school earlier today..."

"Is it showanshare day today?" she asked. "No," I replied in a pre-dawn grumble. "That is tomorrow, but you're gonna be on an airplane with me, because we're going to see your mommy and you're gonna hang with her and Craig the C-Man for a week..."

"Oh ok, well is it time for breakfast?"

"It will be when I make it."

"Blueberries and strawberries please!!!!! And Diego, ummmmm no.... BLUES CLUES yogurt, too!"

"No problem... let's go!"

By the time I got to the kitchen, she was already at her place at the table...

"I want FOUR strawberries and you have to cut them up and wash them off and I want one two three four five six seven eleven fifteen blueberries!"

I laughed. She laughed. I think it's the precursor for a great day!

Unless of course I just jinxed myself!

There's just something special in the way she - or any - child loves. So unconditionally. So innocent. They're just blueberries and strawberries...

But she loves them. And that, my friend, is one of the little 'moments' to me that means the world. I hope you can have one of them today for yourself... I think it's good for the soul. But that's just me.

Gotta go. Have to call Carly and say good morning, and get munchkin ready, make her lunch, get myself ready, get her to school, get her situated, take her potty, wash her hands, and then get to work for a meeting.

It's a routine. And it's worth every minute :)

-tk